His Majesty's Favorite

Don't Be Impulsive, It Can Be Counterproductive

I was having a deep and informative conversation with a very good and wise friend of mine and he said a few things that really made me think.  Now this friend I consider my secret weapon because his intelligence and wisdom goes far beyond the charm he exudes.   We were discussing human behavior in regards to ulterior motives.  After a misfortunate situation or tragedy happens in our life the immediate actions we take and the choices we make are very sensitive and vulnerable.  

Impulsive behavior can lead us into a lot of things other than debt and disappointment.  Immediate reaction on a situation without carefully thinking of the results and or repercussions of those actions can worsen the outcome.  Responding impulsively to a negative situation could communicate things that you really don’t want communicated.  Whether or not your impulsive behavior was negative or positive, the lack of thoroughly examining the intent and purpose could be more of a hindrance than a help.

Counterproductive is hindering the achievement of a set goal or purpose.  Impulsive behavior can be counterproductive if we don’t measure our behavior.  Remember to always think before you act and make sure the choices you make after a misfortunate situation, or any situation, is one that will help you serve your purpose and not hinder your growth or weaken your strength.  Remember, for every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction. 

Are the decision and choices you make impulsive?  Are you mindful to avoid being counterproductive?

From My Thoughts To Yours

Division Of Mind. Life With The Super-Ego.

Reading the topic of this blog post may have lead you into believing that this may be another article summing up Freud’s theory on the id, ego, and superego.  Most people are familiar with this theory which provides a psychological explanation of our mental health and certain stages in our lives.  I won’t reiterate the theory, however, I’m going to discuss the Super Ego, the moral part of our minds and how it relates to life. 

When we were a child we thought as a child, when we become an adult we are to think as an adult, but sometimes our attitudes or emotional reactions are immature until later in our adult lives.  We grow to learn that not only can we not have what it is we want when we want it, but what we want is not always what we need.  The superego is the last part of the mind to develop.  What I like to think of as the point in our lives where we have discovered ourselves.  We know who we are and what it is that we want out of life.  When we reach this point we begin to work towards betterment.  Being knowledgeable of and accepting reality.

It’s at this point that we understand and separate our wants from our needs.  It’s important to reach a stage in life where you are measuring your actions in order to stay in line with future goals and aspirations.  This is a point in life where your morals and ethics govern your everyday behavior.  The point in life where your standards and level of excellence have increased for the mere fact that you now have an understanding of what is right and what is wrong, what should be and what needs to be. 

Identify with this stage in life. Embrace all of you and be rational about the decisions you make.  Don’t be a statistic of the pleasure principle.  Irrational thinking and instant gratification can have many consequences.  Be in a healthy state of mind in order to make healthy decisions.  

Where are you in your life?  Have you reached a level of maturity where your superego is the dominating state of mind?

From My Thoughts To Yours.

Our Actions Are Interpreters Of Our Thoughts

In yesterday’s Wisdom Wednesday’s post, Power of the Tongue, I wrote about how we speak the things that we think.  I said action starts with a thought.  Everything that we do or not do is a result of the way we think.  Our mindset and the debate of the conscious along with the secrets of the subconscious are all a mirror of who we are.  We become what we think and as Patrice Washington said in her blog, Seek Wisdom, Find Wealth “Remember that what you verbalize, you materialize…” It’s a circle of influence, we think it, we speak it, and then we manifest it.  Behold, we birth life from a thought.

John Lock said ~ “The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts”

Men and women are measured by their actions.  You can say one thing and do another. Your actions will always carry the weight.  Our actions are silent words communicating not only our thoughts, but our ethics and morals.  It interprets our character.  Naturally, people believe your actions and may be skeptical of your words unless you have developed a relationship with them and therefore build trust and credibility.  Not everyone walks in believing is seeing.

If it's NECESSARY, then it's POSSIBLE

When it comes to reaching for higher heights some times the thought of failing and falling short of what is expected or what we desire, prevents us from taking that next step.  What one person deems impossible another regards as a challenge.  There are things in life that we must do and things in life that we want to do.  We have the freedom of choice.  Even with the choices we make there are a series of events in our life that are inevitable and necessary.  If the things we reach for are necessary, then they are possible.

FOCUS

With so many changes taking place in our world, in this economy, it’s inevitable that changes will also take place in our lives.  These changes may be willing or forced.  The systematic approach of doing so has to be accompanied by focus and self-discipline.  There is more than one way to solve a problem and there is also more than one way to acquire a desired result.  Avoid having to experience all the different ways by staying focus and doing one thing at a time.  Don’t allow yourself to get up in a web trying to find your way around a vain matter or an attempt to fill a void.

   Prioritize and concentrate on your mission.  Zoom in on what it is you want and measure it to what it is that you need.  Sometimes we think getting what we want will satisfy our needs.  They are different.  Our wants are controlled and influence by our flesh and society.  Our needs are required for growth and stability.  Our needs are designed to build and maintain our foundation in life.  Control your interruptions and distractions.  Don’t allow the distractions of your wants interfere with the satisfaction of your needs.   Stay focus on your mission.

~7 Reasons Why... "Having A Friend Is Necessary"

Life is like a roller coaster, you have moments when you are up and moments when you are down.  You encounter episodes that make you laugh and others that make you scream.   It’s a journey you can’t take by yourself.  You need a strong support system in place.  Family, friends, or a significant other all have roles and responsibilities during this journey.

A friendship is the foundation for all personal relationships.  Having one is essential to your survival in life.  Here are 7 reasons why having a friend is necessary.

1. Support – there are times in our life when we hesitate to move forward because of risk level or even fear.  You may have someone speak discouraging words to you.  It’s in these times that a friend will give you moral support, confirming your strengths and ability to move forward and seek what it is you desire.

2. The Truth – rather it’s what we want to hear or news we would rather not discuss, a friend will and should communicate an unbiased response.   This is the person who will help keep you grounded and humbled if arrogance tries to sneak in.   A friend understands that telling you the truth isn’t about sparing your feelings but about growth and building your character.  

De-clutter Your Life

 In an earlier post this year, Clean Up Before You Prepare The Table, I discussed the importance of having a clean slate going into the new year.  The necessity of having a clear understanding of things that needed to be changed in our lives in order to get different results.  After all, if we expect something different than we must plan something different.   Dream it, plan it, execute it, and then grow it.   Now it’s time to de-clutter your life.

I saw the heading “De-clutter Your Life” on the front cover of Oprah’s magazine and it caught my attention and said a thousand things to me.  Oprah may have been referring to her closet but I started to ponder how one could apply it to their life.  One area in our lives that I feel is without a “grey area” is the ability to be organized.  A person is either organized or unorganized, there really isn’t room for “somewhat”.  Having organization in your life will help you reach your goals and fuel your ambitions.  It helps to create a road map of your journey.

Our Expectations of Life. You Get What You Give.

Many of us understand the importance of putting in work in order to get the result that we desire.  The level of work we give or sacrifice can be anything from physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual.  It's not just blood, sweat, and tears but it's how much of what's on our insides we give that instigates our success on the outside.  Our outcomes are determined by our input.  Simply said, you get out whatever it is that you put in.   However, if you do not give, you cannot expect a return.

Some people go through stages in life where they feel success is debt that they must collect.  They have a way of thinking that life owes them something.   If we get caught up in this mentality then not only will we be stuck in a place of complacency but also be insensible about the responsibilities that comes along with success.  A few of these responsibilities are:

~ 7 Reasons Why..." Your Attitude Really Is Everything"

Most of the time growth and understanding persuades our attitude about a specific thing or topic. When we are enlighten or educated about something or someone the negative or pessimistic attitude we carried transforms into a more positive one.   Some can even argue that at times we have mixed attitudes, remaining ambivalent about certain things.  Either way, your attitude really is everything and it means a lot to the people around you.  Here are 7 reasons why.

1.  Relationship Building - your attitude is a weapon for building relationships.  A positive attitude can be a weapon for protection.  A negative attitude can be a weapon for attack.  When building relationships, communication is key.  Having a negative attitude closes the door for open communication.

"Progress Is Success"

Some times as human beings we are very hard on ourselves when it comes to being successful.   I don’t think I’ve met anyone who chose to be a failure in life.  However, our measurements to what success is can be both overbearing and at times a little superficial.  We measure success by having reached the final point on the journey, accomplishing the ultimate mark.  You don’t want to dismiss all of the steps and obstacles you’ve overcome to get to that final point, because each time you progress to the next step that brings you closer to your ultimate goal, you are indeed being successful.

"Believing is Seeing"

Throughout my life I’ve always been a risk taker.  Some may say a little too risky at times.  But I have no fear in the things I set out to do.   My thought process is simple when it comes to this:  I know that no matter what, If I’m consciously living out my day everyday to be a better me and helping others when I can,  than I am protected and  good things will come to me.   With that said, I take risks because my returns on life investments are surely to be profitable.   I believe that, I walk that, and I talk that.   I have faith, a complete confidence that life will work out in my favor.

Clean Up Before You Prepare The Table

The first month of 2010 has come and gone.   We are still in the beginning of the year but our behaviors and follow through in the first 31 days played a huge part in how our year will conclude.  The dedication and seriousness we took in fulfilling our goals, desires, and or even resolutions for the year shows in the actions we took in those first 31 days.   If you don’t take the time out to measure your progress how will you know if you are on track to succeeding in what it is that you set out to accomplish.  Before you do that, you must first have a clear understanding of your measurements and what processes didn’t work before.  

In 2009 we all have decisions that we made but were wrong,  actions taken that should have been avoided, and individuals we associated with that needed to not be apart of our lives.  Throughout our journey in life we must learn from all that we do.  We are all familiar with the statement “doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is insanity”.  The statement is true.  We can’t expect to change the outcome of this year or have a better year than last year if we are continuing to do the same “wrong” things.   Some of us may feel we had a good year last year, why would I change what I did?  If you had a good year last year, don’t change your behaviors, continue to be discipline and just upgrade them to have an even better year.  Remember, growth and increase is important.

It's Not Lonely At The Top, If You Help Somebody Get There.

“It’s not lonely at the top…IF YOU HELP SOMEBODY GET THERE" Rev Run Wisdom Quotes  

When an individual reaches a visible level of success in the eyes of the public, we say “they’ve made it”.  Levels of success are sometimes measured to ones own accountability.   However, there does seem to be an undefined, somewhat immeasurable, state of success that clarifies “making it to the top”.  When it happens, you will know it and so will others.   But making it to the top doesn’t denote you are done in life; nor does it signify that you’ve fulfilled your purpose.  When you reach the top, you still have to take the lid off so the bright light of success can shine and encourage someone else to make it there as well.

Footprints On The Moon

“Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit, there’s footprints on the moon” (There’s a World Out There) by Paul Brandt.   

Paul Brandt, a country singer, sings these words in his song “There’s a World Out There”.   I think, as simple as it may sound, is a very strong statement.   I’ll admit, when I first heard the verse it altered my thought pattern a little.  The usual and commonly stated cliché “the sky’s the limit” immediately shattered for me.  The idea that there is something even greater to achieve while living here on this earth designed for endless possibilities, enthused me in a great way.    

Often time people accept that which they can see with their naked eye to be their limit. 

Expectation Without Appreciation

We all have people in our lives that we care for and appreciate. We appreciate a loved one listening to us when we need someone to talk to. We appreciate that friend telling us the truth when no one else would. We appreciate family being there in our times of need. A lady appreciates a man who’s a gentleman. A gentleman appreciates a woman who’s a lady.

But have you ever felt that moment when the appreciation of luxury turns into expectation? Recently I’ve had a friend make complaints that their significant other no longer appreciates the little special things or those memorable moments that material things can not capture. Those moments that last a lifetime and embed themselves in your mind and heart for eternity. They feel the sincerity and surprise element of giving their significant other a sumptuous gift is no longer there, but instead replaced with a “what else” or “what’s next” attitude.

It Only Takes One

I used to say the statement “it only takes one” without fully understanding the power of “one”.   Some times we say things and don’t really understand the meaning or capture the revelation of it until we have experience something that relates to it.   Knowledge is in fact power, but knowledge is also learned experiences.

I came to understand the power of this statement a week ago when I experienced a woman at a homeless shelter where I facilitate adult training give me a typed thank you letter.   It was completely unexpected.   The smile on my face, the joy in my spirit, and the love in my heart was overwhelming even for me.   She was the “only” adult who decided to commit to training in the entire shelter and attended every class faithfully and on time. 

All Good Things Must Come To An End. Do They Really?

MiniBlog Originally Posted via Facebook Notes on November 20, 2009.

So I'm sure we are all aware by now that the Powerhouse Media Diva Oprah Winfrey is planning to end her talk show in September 2011. This is a woman who has overcome obstacles and tribulations in her earlier years in life and now stands as an extraordinary achiever, inspiration, and influential woman to thousands of people across the globe.

People are already speaking out on their thoughts about the decision; providing their comments and opinions. However, this post isn't about your thoughts on Oprah's decision to end the Oprah Winfrey Show, it's about the statement "all good things must come to an end". A few people have made this statement in response to her decision.

You Can Not Become What You Despise.

MiniBlog Originally Posted via Facebook Notes on October 30, 2009.

In a recent group posting Mike S. Cantave wrote "Please celebrate the success of others! You can not become what you despise". He said a mouth full when he wrote this.

This statement immediately impressed me. When someone you know or know of gets a promotion, starts that new business, makes that magazine spread, or reaches a point in their life where they are seen as "extra"ordinary are you genuinely happy for them? Do you truly wish the best for them? Or are you secretly bitter because it's not you or that they reached a place of success before you did?

When You Walk In A Room...Are You Seen or Heard? Arrogance vs. Confidence.

MiniBlog Originally Posted via Facebook Notes on October 23, 2009.

I'm sure we all have experienced a point in time where an individual has come across as being arrogant. This may have happened in a casual conversation, social event, networking function, or even a professional meeting. But arrogance is so loud that it can speak a multiple of things. Often times, what is spoken is not that which is being said by the individual out of their mouth, but what is being heard from their attitude.

I, along with a few other people, have experienced this behaviour this past week. People often mistake arrogance with confidence.

Your Behind In Technology. Does It Effect Our Relationship?

MiniBlog Originally Posted via Facebook Notes on October 15, 2009.

Earlier this week I was teasing a friend of mine for being behind in technology. This individual doesn't partake it any of the Social Networking sites, rarely text messages, hardly sends or even check their emails, and only logs onto a PC when absolutely necessary. I inform them that they are missing an entire new world that has unfolded before our eyes.

But then I realized that because of their choice to not be sucked into the world of cyberspace, that we don't communicate or exchange information regularly. However, when we do, we are on the phone for an extended period of time catching up on the happenings of each other lives.

Can Someone Recover From A Bad First Impression?

MinigBlog Originally Posted via Facebook Notes on October 9, 2009.

It's been said and we all have said it, "first impressions lasts a lifetime". I'm a big believer and supporter in this statement. The first time I meet someone or even come into contact with them where verbal communication has to take place, I'm not only listening to what they are saying out of their "mouth" but what they are saying out of their "spirit" and "character".

Having An Expiration Date on Marriages

MiniBlog Originally Posted Via Facebook Notes on September 18, 2009.

Lately I've been coming into the same topic of conversation with a few of my male friends, all of whom are single I must first add. Single by definition of "not being married". The question that has been asked 3 times over the past month has been, "so Jamara, what do you think about the courts providing an option for 3,5, or 10 year marriage license?".

Now I'm not sure where the true source of this information originated from but I think it came from a comedy show. But the topic is definitely one for discussion.