I hadn't seen one of my best friends in months. The other day I traveled to Washington DC to visit and catch up on some much needed face-to-face girls time. As always, we have sincere, transparent, and open communication about life. During one of our conversations we talked about the accountability of friendship. Whose responsibility is it to maintain a friendship? If you are usually the initiator, should you remain the initiator? If you stop being the initiator would there still be a friendship or would it fall by the wayside? Friendship, in its true meaning, is a beautiful and precious thing. Don't take advantage or underestimate the inspiration, motivation, and necessity of friendship.
Friendship is a two-way commitment just like any other type of relationship. Reciprocity is required otherwise the friendship isn't mutual. It's quite possible for you to call someone a friend but them not consider you a friend. The responsibility and accountability of a friendship must be shared. Yes, it is work. But it's work that comes natural between people who value each other. There is a level of vulnerability involved in friendships. Putting in the work required to maintain a friendship protects someone from the disappointment or hurt that can come from being vulnerable. It's something that can be done through humility. If your friend is usually the one who initiates communication between the two of you, then next time try taking the lead in that area. If your friend is a cheerful giver, don't take advantage of their giving by always assuming they will give. Instead, do something to show your appreciation.
I take friendship very seriously. I'm one who doesn't call everyone I socialize with a friend. For me calling someone a friend means we are family and we are there for each other no matter what. Now, no matter what doesn't mean we support each other in doing wrong. But it does mean being strong enough to tell each other when we are wrong. I'm also very protective of my friends and will speak up in their absence. My friends will do the same for me and this is one reason why I admire them. I've witnessed and experienced a friendship being taken advantage of. It was sad and hurtful to experience but could've been avoided had one person not taken advantage of the other. Do you admire your friends? Do you value your friends? Do you appreciate your friends? If so, don't allow someone whom you value to fall by the wayside because they've chosen to stop carrying the relationship. Initiate communication and show your gratitude for a relationship that could last a lifetime.
Shared over a cup of tea,
...From My Thoughts to Yours, Jamara